At I Choose Change, we encourage change that lasts a lifetime. That’s why every month, we’ll take a closer look at the issues that affect you and your family. In January, we’ll focus on resolutions and starting over, then we’ll switch gears and delve into doing the right thing and justice. I Choose Change serves all of Allen, Plano, McKinney, Wylie, Lucas, Sachse and Fairview, and we offer online and email counseling across the globe. Contact us here for more information.
As 2018 commences, while many people are full of hope and the “new year, new me” mindset, there’s also the downside of the typical post-holiday letdown. These two elements can mix and lead to toxic ideas about what reinvention truly means, particularly in relation to your marriage. Suddenly, all the little spats with your spouse seem catastrophic since your marriage has failed the rom-com happy ending litmus test. Viewing relationships with the expectation of movie-worthy perfection can create a substantial rift between partners, and a new year is when people are most susceptible to it. It’s a good time to not only consult with Allen family counseling services, but also to be proactive. Here are a few ways to reconnect during the winter months.
Let’s Get Physical
No, not just in that way, although that would be a bonus! Getting physical also means getting outside and participating in some of the sports that winter has to offer. If you’re not a person who likes speed or danger, then cross-country skiing is a great activity. Not only is it easier to remain with your spouse so that you’re side by side, but you also get the rush of physical exertion. Winter can feel twice as gloomy on a gray day while stuck inside, but getting out makes a world of difference. Doing physical activities like skiing or even just working out together at the gym on a freezing Saturday can help form a bond, but also keeps the blood flowing and the endorphins churning.
An Excuse to Stay Indoors
Winter activities don’t have to just mean sports. It can also mean that you and your spouse decide to stay inside and do something else. The key is how the time is spent, though. Marriage.com states that quality time means you shouldn’t have to talk. Rather, shared activities lead to intimate conversations, but bonding over an activity is all about shared memories, not words. For example, watching a favorite movie together snuggled up on the couch on a cold day is time spent together while not talking. The point to this activity is to enjoy an experience together that leads to reconnection and intimacy.
Cooking for the Season
Cooking with your spouse and eating a meal together is always an excellent activity to help reconnect, but take it a step further by tweaking your cooking activities to winter fare. In other words, seize the best part of cooking which is the new learning experiences and do a little kitchen chemistry. Learn how to make fancy hot chocolate together and then drink it with the kids. Get the lowdown from your resident food critics about what they like or don’t like. Food is central to the holidays, so if you’re in a post-holiday slump, reinvent meals with your partner. The more warmth you have in your kitchen in the winter, the more you’ll feel it in your marriage.
Maintaining open lines of communication and checking in with your feelings for your spouse is always important. However, winter deserves special scrutiny since it can also be a mood drain. In addition to proactively sharing activities, couples therapy with a Dallas area therapist can also make a huge difference in figuring out how to reconnect with your spouse. Once you’ve committed to the process of reconnecting, whether it’s through skiing or simply spending a few weekend afternoons curled up together watching a movie, as long as you’re willing to try, change is always possible.